Friday, April 12, 2013

a blog about mostly nothing

I'm warning you that this blog has no relevant material whatsoever because I have the attention span of a flea this week.  It also contains no links where links should be.  Sorry not sorry.  One more sleep until Florida.  Speaking of irrelevant, it used to annoy me when people said how many "sleeps" until a big event but now that I just used it, I'm perfectly comfortable with it.

I've been trying to pack for vacation all week and last night I basically just dumped a stupid amount of bathing suits, shoes and clothes in my suit case with no organization to speak of.  I always try very hard to put together outfits for each day of a trip away from my home and closet, but then my mind starts to wander and I think things like, "what if that's not what I want to wear that day?" or "will I need my running shoes just in case?".  The answers to those questions are always going to be, no. No you won't want to wear that on that day because you will feel fat, it will not be appropriate for your plans that day, etc etc and no you won't need your running shoes because you won't be exercising on vacation, nice try though.  In the end I end I will probably wear the same pair of denim shorts everyday and one black bikini because it's my favorite.

I won't even talk about the weather again and how depressing it is to look out the window at the charcoal grey color that covers, um, everything.  Instead I'll talk about how every state around Michigan is in the 70's and 80's.  What.The.Hell?

I have a problem lately where I forget to put on deodorant.  I can't really pin point where this step in my daily routine dropped out, but it's been happening so much that DJ thinks I'm doing it on purpose.  I'm not a sweaty person, but there is always a point mid-day that makes me ask myself if I remembered to put on deodorant that day.  If the answer is, no, that's the minute that I will perspire. 
I've been spending a lot of time envying the shape and size of other women's lips.  I really love pink and red lipsticks. How great would it be if I had more of a foundation to cover?  DJ is not a fan of cosmetically altered lips but I'm slightly fascinated.

I decided to wax my bikini area at home all by myself.  It was not a very pleasant experience and far harder to inflict pain on myself as opposed to allowing someone at a salon to do so.  I despise body hair in the worst way possible.  I tried the Sally Hanson "painless" version and after one strip I wanted to hunt down Sally herself and ask her if she is delusional enough to believe anything about her wax makes it "painless" or even "less painful" than any others on the market.  I made 3 attempts and gave up.  I went to the store the next day and bought the wax strips that already have the wax on them.  It worked way better than the spread-on style wax from the night before, but it was still extra painful, requires a certain amount of flexibility and took forever.  It made me appreciate the women in the salon that remove hair for a living a lot more.  The good part is that, this nightmare project experience was almost 3 weeks ago and I am just now seeing any hair growth.  Now, I'm having another internal battle with myself to decide if I should wax again or go back to shaving.  #firstworldproblems

I have a tendency to kill living plants in my house regularly.  Outside too if I'm being honest.  DJ is actually the one that takes care of my flowers when I bring them home, for both inside and outside.  BUT, my grams brought me a violet on Thanksgiving and against all odds I have kept that pretty little thing alive and it's even bloomed again this week.  I am so proud of myself.  *pats self on back* It makes me feel super confident about planting a vegetable garden this year.  I'm going to start my seedlings when we get back from vacation.  Speaking of  getting back from vacation, that's been my go to response to everything over the past two weeks.  I act as if nothing can or should be started before vacation.  Every project I want to begin (or task that I don't really want to begin) must wait until we get back, because clearly it would be a waste to start right now. 

DJ swears he's going to finally make me a raised gardening bed, but I swear if the ancient ground hog that has been building tunnels for centuries in our neighborhood thinks he's going to snack on my veggies he's got another thing coming.  Many a neighbor has tried to take him down and he has outsmarted the whole of them.  (Ground Hog 18 - Neighborhood Men 0)  It reminds me of that movie "Big Fish".  Everyone tried to "catch" the fish, but he wouldn't be fooled with the average methods to catch a fish.  The ground hog is much like this, big fish, and I respect his ramblin' gamblin' ways, but I still won't share my veggies with him.

OK, that's all for now.  Hope you made it to the end without falling asleep.  I'll bore you with more about nothing at another time.  I'll be back after vacation, probably with a crap ton of pictures of my awesome family soaking up warmer days.  Follow us on instagram though! #bloomsflysouth @laurabloom & @djbloom13


jamiedawn said...

this was probably one of my favorite posts of yours i have ever read. fantastic. from learning the term "sleeps" to hearing about how sally hansen is a big fat liar. i love it.

k8te said...

love this, posts about nothing are my favorite. sally hansen is a dirty liar!

Kristin Key said...

i love this post too. i do the same thing when packing, even for short trips. i try to plan out full outfits for each day, pack exercise gear that i never ever use, bring 100 pairs of shoes just in case (dress sandals, plain sandals, walking shoes, nice shoes, beach sandals, dress shoes, wtf). what if i want to wear this shirt and i don't bring it!? but then yeah, i basically want to wear the same thing every day.

i hope you are enjoying seeing the sun! please bring a little bit back with you.

danielle said...

lmao, I love this post!!!
Hope your having an amazing time in FL!