This week I am featuring guest posts from my mommy friends. I asked some very special women, all my age, if they would participate in a mother's day interview. I was thrilled when they agreed and I hope you enjoy reading their responses as much as I did!
Today's post is featuring my lovely friend Sara. She recently gave birth to the adorable Lyla. I love her and could read her interview over and over. Enjoy!
Now that you are a mother yourself has your relationship changed at all with your own mother?
Absolutely! I think I’ve apologized 100 times already for all the things I did as a kid. Honestly, it is so cliché but they say the love a mother has for a child is like nothing you’ve ever felt before and it’s true. The first time I got to hold my daughter and have that feeling, it made me think of my mom loving me like that – and made me appreciate her so much more. She stayed with us the first week Lyla was born to help out and just watching my mom hold my daughter was the best thing in the world.
What has been the best advice you have received regarding motherhood?
The best advice I received was from my best friend who told me not to listen to everyone else! As soon as you tell people you’re pregnant they start to overload you with their stories and advice (sorry Laura, I know I did with you a little!). It can be really overwhelming and annoying, so just smile and say thank you. Not everything that works for someone else’s baby is going to work for yours; it’s a learning process for the both of you.
How about the worst advice?
I don’t think that I’ve really received any bad advice. Just a lot of unsolicited opinions on how I should be doing things, i.e. do what they did. I know my daughter child better than anyone else, so I do what I think is best for her.
What has been the hardest part so far of being a mother?
The exhaustion is by far the hardest thing of being a mother. I was so emotional the first couple of weeks that I’d cry at literally everything. And I definitely put way too much pressure on myself about every single thing. I’m a control freak by nature and it was very hard to deal with the fact that some things did not work out the way that I had hoped.
What has been the most rewarding moment?
Honestly, every single moment and milestone I have with her. From her first smile to our cuddle sessions in the morning, and now her talking (gibberish) to us. Every day I am consumed with more and more love for her.
Do you have any advice for first time mothers?
(Even though I previously said don’t take other people’s advice – this is more advice for you personally, not so much about the baby.) The same thing most mothers say, it goes by so unbelievably fast so try hard to live in the moment with them. Another big one is to communicate with your partner! It’s not always sunshine and rainbows those first couple weeks (or months), you will be a crazy and sleep deprived person – so try remember to give each other attention during that time (you’ll need it). And don’t be afraid to ask for help, especially if it gives you an hour or two to yourself. Your child will take over your life for the next 18+ years, and you need every break you can get to remember who you are and what you need.
What was your guilty pleasure while pregnant?
I became obsessed with beets! I had never had them before, and for whatever reason I tried them and couldn’t get enough. And salt, my god I would’ve licked a deer salt stick if I could have.
Do you have plans to have more children? If so, how many? How soon?
It’s funny because before I would always say “one and done – that’s it!” But as soon as I held her in my arms I thought - now I know why women do this over and over. I do think that I would like to have one more child eventually, probably within five years. I’d like for us to get married first and buy a house so we can have more room! But yes, I hope to have one more.
What has been your biggest obstacle so far to overcome?
Learning to let go and realizing that I can’t be in control of how things will turn out. I had my birth plan ready to go and all these ideas of what I was going to do. At 38 weeks I found out she was breech which meant that she would have to be delivered via c-section, and not naturally like I had wanted. When she was born I intended on breast feeding, however, she had a very high pallet and couldn’t latch on at all – which meant I had to pump or give her formula. I opted to pump because I knew my milk was the best for her… but it was so time consuming and I couldn’t care for her when I was doing it. It made me completely miserable and I got mad at myself that it wasn’t working. Eventually it got to the point where I wanted to stop pumping, but I felt like I was admitting defeat and felt guilty for being selfish. I had a Crohn’s attack 4 weeks after she was born and was forced to quit pumping because of the medication they were putting me on. It ended up being a life saver because I was able to get more sleep and give her my complete attention. Again, the pressure of trying to do what everyone (books, blogs, doctors, etc) says is the best thing was beyond overwhelming. The truth is – what’s best for you ends up being the best for your baby.
How has your own mother inspired you?
I think about how much my mom and I have been through… how many times I broke her heart when I was growing up, or when we had really good moments. I just think of what she did during those times, the patience she had – and that’s what I hope to do with Lyla.
What was your earliest childhood memory about your own mother?
Not sure how old I was but driving in the car on our way up to our cabin, singing country songs and stopping at the cheese store for snacks! We did that a lot so that’s probably why it is my strongest memory
How do you want to most be like your mom?
I hope that I’ll be as strong as my mom, I know growing up there were times when I tried so hard to push her away and she never gave up on me. She was also really understanding and open with me, so I was able to go to her with things (when I wasn’t pushing her away) that other people would never go to their mom about. If I could have half of my mom’s strength, patience and understanding then I’ll be lucky!
What did you do for your mom on mother's day in the past?
The older I get the more I know how much my mom has done for me, so I always try to get her something small and write something to tell her how thankful/lucky I am to have her as my mom. I know that I didn’t tell her enough growing up, but she was an amazing mom and she needs to be reminded of that. It’s not a lot, but I know she appreciates me recognizing everything she has done for me – and continues to do!
Lastly, what is your greatest wish for your child?
I just want her to be happy and healthy. She is already so loved by so many people; I don’t want her to ever forget that. Without a doubt I know I’ll be doing as much as I can to make sure she experiences as much as she can in this life. But other than that, I can’t ask for much else.
Thanks again Sara! Happy mother's day to you! Love you! xoxx