precious moments

In an effort to remember all these precious and sometimes not so precious moments with Hank, I went out and bought a journal today.  I've been reading Operating Instructions: A Journal of My Son's First Year based on the recommendation of one of my favorite bloggers Holly at Zucchero Zucchero.  It made me realize how much I want to be able to look back, or rather read back, what exactly Hank was doing on certain days or weeks, how I was feeling or what our life as a family was like.  And maybe someday Hank would want to know these things.

mesmerized by the lights on the tree

It made me really wish I had written a journal while I was pregnant and started this journal right when Hank was first born.  I know it would have been helpful when DJ and I try again.  Hopefully my mommy brain will still allow me to remember things from the first 5 weeks of Hank's life.

my new journal

Anyway, I hope you're having a good week.  I will mention we have discovered this week that Hank loves music and if he's a little fussy and needs to take a nap, turn on anything off of Fleetwood Mac's Rumours and goodnight Hank.

weekend inventory

We have the strangest weather in Michigan.  It will never stop surprising me to spend the weekend enjoying temperatures in the high 60's, just to be greeted with temperatures in the 30's on Tuesday.

We took advantage of our warmish weather and put up all of our xmas decorations, both inside and out.  We were really in the holiday spirit and headed to the hardware store for more decorations just to discover that Santa was there!  He was a good one too.  I could not pass up getting Hank's very first picture with Santa.  Santa let daddy DJ and I join in too.  I think he was a little nervous to be holding such a tiny newborn.

whyyy didn't Santa tell me my sunglasses were still on??

Sunday I felt super domestic and took to Pinterest to find some recipes!  We made crack weenies, apple crisp and french bread pizzas.  It was a terribly gluttonous way to spend a Sunday.  Just the way I like it.

a labor of love - henry davis

I fell asleep on October 9th at 1am, woke up at 2:56am, 3:42am and then finally at 4:45am I got out of bed.  I took a shower, did my hair, my make-up, got dressed and ate breakfast.  DJ woke up shortly after me and loaded up the car with the hospital bag.  It was very silent in our house.  I think we were both extremely nervous.  I had no idea what to expect at the hospital and a million questions ran through my mind as I got ready that day.

We got to the hospital just before 7am and I walked waddled down the long hall to the elevators.  We got to the third floor, labor and delivery, called the nurses station, "Um hi, I'm here to be induced."  The double doors swung open and we headed to the desk, where we were greeted by our nurse, Iman, and she led us to room 331.

 Iman was AWESOME!  She made both of us laugh and melt some nerves away.  Her best friend was working also and came in to help her.  She put in my I.V. and blew up one of my veins but whatever.  They told me that there was another woman that came in at the same time as me and was also being induced.  She was also dilated to 3cm.  Did I ever tell you that I was competitive?  It was on.  I was so going to have my baby before her.  Ha!

 Nurse Iman, hooked me up to two monitors on my belly.  One was monitoring Hank's heartbeat (don't ask my how many times that thing slipped off and I freaked out).  The other monitor was monitoring contractions.  Iman asked me if I could feel the contractions I was having (before being on pitocin).  I couldn't.  She then introduced me to the smiley/frowney faces on the wall that indicated how much pain you are in.  I was at a smiley 1.  After about an hour I was all hooked up and they started the pitocin.  DJ and I watched the news and then Live with Kelly and Michael.  A few interns and residents came in and out.  They did an ultrasound to check to make sure that Hank was still head down and facing the back.  The intern gave the thumbs up to say everything was all good.  At about noon the resident came in to break my water and nurse Iman came in to tell me that the other woman and I were still neck and neck.  We were both having our water broken artificially and we had both progressed to about 4cm. (darn)  Having your water broken is a bizarre feeling and I just felt like a leaky mess from that moment on.  Nurse Iman told me that my contractions would likely be getting stronger now.  I told her I was still at a smiley 3 on the pain scale so I was still feeling good.  DJ and I had brought our DVD player and started watching our Friends box set.  I chose to watch the episodes when Rachel was pregnant.  It just seemed fitting.

About an hour and a half later I was curled over the side of my bed in a frowney face 10 on the pain scale with only about 20 seconds of relief between contractions.  I was shaking and dry heaving while gripping the rail on the bed with the strongest of death grips.  DJ kept asking me if I was OK and I had so little time to recover between contractions it took about four contractions before I finally cried out that I NEEDED the epidural.  Nurse Iman, came right in and called down for the anesthesiologist, who came pretty quickly.  It took everything in me to sit still and breathe through my contractions as the doctor gave me the epidural.  When the doctor finished I felt instant relief on my left side, but I could still feel the full strength of the contractions on my right side.  Both nurse Iman and the anesthesiology nurse told me to try laying on my right side for a while to give the medicine a chance to start working.  Within the hour I thought it was some dirty trick someone was playing on me.  Yes, you can have an epidural Laura, but it's only going to work on one side, muahahaha.  I told nurse Iman and she gave me the saddest puppy dog look, knowing that they were going to have to take the current epidural out and put a new one in.  Ugh.  This time a new doctor came in and first tried moving it over and giving me another dose.  This successfully made my left leg a dead leg.  D-E-A-D.  However no relief whatsoever came to the right side.  The epidural indeed had to be removed and this new doctor started over.  Despite it taking two tries once that sucker was in correctly I felt amazing.  I was so relaxed.  I even took a little nap.  DJ and I watched Friends all afternoon.  Finally around 6pm when nurse Iman was getting ready to leave I asked if she would check me to see how far dilated I was.  She did and guess what...10cm!!!  Baby Hank was ready!  My doctor came in for his shift at 6:30pm so since I was still feeling quite comfortable and not too much pressure they recommended I "labor down" and allow my body to do some of the work for me.  Nurse Iman said that I didn't have to worry because I would know when it was time.  She assured me that the epidural would not take away the enormous amount of pressure I would feel.  At that point I really had no idea what kind of pressure I was about to feel.

My doctor came in at 6:30pm right when he arrived at the hospital and I was so happy to see him.  He said that he would come back in an hour or so to give me time to "labor down".  DJ and I called family and friends to let them know that it would be soon.  By the time we finished making calls it was about 7pm and I looked at DJ and said, "I have to push."  He gave me a look that indicated he did not believe me and said, "Laura, the doctor said he would be back in an hour."  I told him there was no way I was going to last that long and that I NEEDED to push right then.  I called the nurses station and told them I needed to push.  The doctor and a new nurse (Pam) came in (Pam had red hair so I knew I would like her).  They immediately set everything up and Pam started giving DJ and I instructions.  DJ needed to hold my leg and count down from 10 each time I pushed.  I needed to hold the back of my legs, take a deep breath and push for a count of ten, three times for every contraction.  I started pushing at 7:09pm.  I got through the first contraction and the second.  I was dry heaving again and started to cry that I couldn't do it.  DJ gave me the biggest kiss and told me I was doing so good and to keep going.  Nurse Pam put cold wash cloths on my chest and head and before I knew it I made it through the third contraction.  Nurse Pam asked if I wanted to feel his head.  His head?  He was already crowning??  I was so happy!  I felt the next contraction coming on and I took the deepest breath possible.  I pushed for the first count of ten and that's when my doctor started instructing me to breath, push, breath, push...At 7:21pm Henry Davis was officially born.  Daddy DJ cut the umbilical cord and they placed Henry on my chest.  He was making the sweetest newborn cry.  I could not believe this precious little boy was mine.  He was here and I loved him so.

umbilical cord cutting / the best doctor ever

Nurse Pam!!

oh that poor little cone headed babe

I love this picture.  I don't even care that I have a double chin.

heaven

proud daddy

Hank came face up, posterior position.  According to the doctor and everything I have read this is not common and typically makes it much harder to deliver without assistance or a c-section.  The doctor and nurse Pam both joked that the next time I give birth I better get to the hospital quick because if it only took me twelve minutes to deliver Hank in that position that my next baby would likely come very quickly.  The other part of this story is that although DJ was sure he wouldn't want to see anything, he watched the whole thing. (Just like everyone said he would)  He was so glad he did too.  He tells everyone how at first he could see the head and it was so small (cone head, remember) and he was so worried something was wrong with Hank.  Then when he could see the rest of his head he was expecting to see the back of his head because they had told us he was in the correct position earlier that day, so he was so confused and thought it looked so wrinkly.  The next thing he saw was Hank open his eyes and mouth at once and DJ says it was like he morphed into a baby right in front of his eyes.  He was seeing his son be born and it was amazing.

October 9th has been the most influential day of my life.  Both of the greatest life changing moments for me have happened on this day.

Oh and if you were wondering I totally beat that other lady in labor. ;)

henry's birth day eve

October 8th, was a Monday and I was scheduled to go see my doctor for my 40 week appointment.  An appointment I was sure I would never see.  I had just seen my doctor four days earlier and I was not happy to be heading to another appointment.  I wanted to be heading to the hospital in labor.  I had spent those four days between appointments emotionally and physically drained.  I cried to DJ on Thursday, Friday and Saturday.  Sunday I gave him a break and called my mom to cry.  Between a broken rib and an extra 30lbs on my tiny 5'2'' frame, saying I was uncomfortable is an understatement.  I walked in to the office and the nurse said, "You poor thing, we were sure you would have gone into labor over the weekend." 

I had arrived at the doctors office in my pajamas, no make up and my hair was still in a damp curly bun from my shower the night before.  My doctor came in and said that he had expected to see me over the weekend.  I told him that I honestly had to.  I then asked him if he could possibly try to strip my membranes again.  He had already done this twice, but he said he would try again.  He said I had dilated to 3cm (I had already been fully effaced for a week) and that he stripped my membranes but that the baby was not descending due to the fact that my pelvic bones were still very close together.  He then explained that one of two things would happen.  One, my son would be extremely cone-headed after he made his way out the birth canal.  Or two, I would be physically unable to push him out and I would likely need a c-section.  He wanted to induce me the following day so that if in-fact I needed a c-section he would be able to perform it for me.  I felt a lot of emotions that moment.  I knew I was going to finally meet my son the next day and that was the best news I could have heard, however I may have to have a c-section which scared me.  This was the one road I didn't want to go down.  It's not like I was thrilled to be induced and put on pitocin, (I had heard horror stories about the contractions that it produces) but I really didn't want to be cut open.  I was scheduled to be induced the following morning at 7am.  I called DJ first and told him what was going to happen, then I called my mom and texted my best friend.  They both asked me what I was going to do on my last day as a childless woman.   

After I left the office I headed to the grocery store to grab a few things, Target and then home to give my house a once over.  It had been so clean from my incessant nesting, it didn't need much in the way of cleaning.  I wanted desperately to take a nap but I was truthfully way too ecstatic and anxious.  My nerves about what may happen were far outweighed by my excitement to no longer be pregnant and to finally see this little human that I kept so safe inside of me for 40 long weeks.  Once DJ came home for work we decided that we would take our fur babies for a nice long walk.  They were going to be slightly neglected in the attention department for a little while so we wanted to spend some quality time with them.  We walked all through downtown Plymouth and it was a gorgeous fall day.  Not only was this the night before I was going to give birth to Hank, it was also his actual due date as well as our second wedding anniversary.  We went out for an anniversary dinner at our favorite Italian restaurant and then settled in to watch a little tv. 

Then we waited until it got dark out to do one last thing.  Ever since our wedding night, my mother-in-law has always bought DJ and I lanterns for special occasions.  For birthdays and anniversaries we write wishes and hopes on the outside of the lanterns and then we walk down to the park, light them and watch them until we finally can't see them.  This particular night we wrote wishes about baby Henry.  Luckily for us, all of our
wishes came true.

my stomach was ENORMOUS

 Come back tomorrow for Henry's birth story!!

hey, i know you

Yesterday, Handsome Hank turned one month old.  He must have known it was a big day for him because he only woke up once at 3am to be fed the night before!  Hallelujah!  It feels like time is flying by and yet it also feels like a lifetime ago that I gave birth to him.  In the past month he has changed in so many ways and so have I.

mama has yet to make it to the tanning salon yet though

I was talking to my friend Marianne the other day about how I finally feel like me again.  She is pregnant and is starting to feel the where-is-my-flat-tummy itch and I can honestly say I remember that feeling all too well. (although she is the most gorgeous pregnant woman ever and rivals the likes of pregnant supermodels like Gisele)  Marianne was visiting family in Michigan the week before I had Hank and she knows all too well that I was in a rough spot.  I felt a little lost, like I couldn't find myself anymore.  I was uncomfortable, tired and so ready to have my baby.  It's such an amazing experience to carry a child, but after 40 weeks of major physical and emotional changes, I felt an enormous amount of relief in the moments after Hank was born.

After one month, I am me again, but a better version because now I am a mommy.  I gained 30lbs while pregnant and today I only have 6lbs left to shed.  I can't fit into all my clothes just yet though.  I can tell my hips have not fully returned to their starting positions and I am softer all over in general at this moment.  However, any anxiety I had about getting back to my pre-pregnancy self has long faded away.  I am excited to work out again.  I tried a little bit last week which may have been a little too soon.  I felt like I was going to puke the entire day following because I was so sore.  I loved the work out while I was doing it though.  More than just my body making moves to return to it's original shape I am feeling less emotionally rocky.  I was so crabby during month nine I'm sure I have some apologizing to DJ to do still and right after having Hank I was so weepy and nervous I could hardly get the courage up to get in the shower if DJ wasn't home to be with Hank.  Now, I am not only showered before DJ gets home, but I've done all the house work and started dinner (most of the time).  As DJ says the maid and cook have returned from maternity leave.  Ha!  I  feel like my independence has returned.  This little man makes the schedule, but I can plan my whole day around his feedings depending on when he first wakes up.  I even left Hank with Grandma on Sunday to go watch DJ play hockey.  (baby steps here people)   I am very grateful that he sticks to a relatively regular schedule lately.  He must really love me ;)

So as I look in the mirror one month postpartum I can see that I am back.  Back to a better me.

weekend inventory

Last week DJ worked late almost everyday and then worked on Saturday too.  It was such a bummer for Hank and I.  We can't wait until he is home with us everyday in just a few short weeks.  Hank lights up when he hears his daddy's voice in the evening and tries so hard to stay awake at night when DJ feeds him with a bottle before bedtime.  So on the weekends we soak up as much daddy time as possible. 

Bowie didn't want to miss out on daddy time either...

Hope your weekend was nice and relaxing.  Hank slept like an angel last night so now I'm off to take my happy boy to Buy Buy Baby and Target! 

smells like love

I can't even believe it's November already!  Time is moving so quickly.  We have just been so wrapped up in our love over here it's been so hard to keep up with...well...with anything really.

When Henry was first born I felt consumed with love.  The nurse set his tiny body on my chest and I thought I couldn't love him anymore.  I felt like I couldn't love my husband anymore.  Here we were on our two year anniversary celebrating our life together by bringing new life to our family.  Today I can say that my love has hit new highs.  I know that sweet boy.  I know his needs and wants and he relies on me.  It feels incredible.

So, all I can say is that it looks, feels and smells like love over here.  What does love smell like you ask?  Love over here smells like new baby, Johnsons bedtime bath, breast milk,  Dreft, Pampers, baby wipes, baby poop (which ironically smelled like breakfast sausage for the first week, ha!) cocoa butter, take out, homemade dinners made by grandmas and friends, lanolin, cold fall breezes, merlot, Halloween candy and Dial hand soap.  It smells amazing over here.

Enjoy your weekend and come back next week to read Henry's birth story!!